Validation, Motivation, and Passion
I could honestly write single posts just on the three individual topics of validation, motivation, and passion. But, considering how interrelated these three areas are, I decided to combine it all in one. Ready kids? Let's do this...
Validation
If you require constant reassurance and praise from your friends and family, it is time to sit down and get real with yourself as to why you're making any efforts at changing your life.
Sure, we as human beings love when others notice our efforts, but if you place your own self-worth in the hands of anyone other than yourself, you are going to fail. No one cares as much as you do about your personal work on your life--no one. I'm not saying that people don't care; People care, they just will never be able to fathom the amount of value you've placed on your own efforts.
Part of building quiet confidence is about not needing that external reassurance around you. Working on you, whether that means your physique, your mental health, your spiritual strength, or your own relationships really only need the approval and validation of two entities: YOU and GOD.
Motivation
Motivation is a tricky topic, because every single one of us has different reasons for doing the things we are doing. I think the most dangerous kind of motivation is that of approval from an outside source. Why? Because it is fleeting.
If you are only motivated by someone commenting on your photos you post online, or your coworkers telling you how great you're doing weekly--if SOMEONE has to notice what you're doing in order for you to stay on track with your goals, it may be time to realize you won't get where you want to go.
Let me explain: Speaking GENERALLY, people love to see others' making changes for the better...until the better becomes BETTER than what those people have achieved. People become jealous when someone they know does the work they haven't been willing to do themselves. For the sake of ease here, we will use weight-loss as the example situation: There will come a time when those around you stop commenting on how much weight you've lost, how great you look, how hard it must have been, and how proud they are of you. If you begin your efforts to change your lifestyle with only wanting others' approval, and this begins to become fewer and farther between, your progress will eventually slow...or come to a complete halt.
Finding that Internal Motivator
We all have to find our motivation from within at some point. You cannot live your life for anyone other than yourself. So, ask yourself these questions, and see where your motivation really lies:
- Why did I want to make any changes in my life?
- Is this something I truly enjoy doing on a day to day basis?
- Am I willing to make no apologies for the choices I have made to change myself for the better?
- Does it matter if anyone else notices what I am doing?
- Do I feel passionate about the changes I am making in my life?
Passion
The way that I feel my passion for what I love is best described as this internal feeling--right next to my heart--that feels like a little tiny fireball of adrenaline when I get to work on it. I get excited, but a controlled excitement. I start speaking faster; My eyes light up; I talk with my hands; My energy soars; I want others to see how much I love what I do; I want them to understand how much finding wellness in my life changed everything for the better--and how it can do the same for them. That's how I know my passion lies where it does.
Now, we all feel passion differently, so don't think that if you aren't feeling it the same way that you aren't truly passionate about something. I do believe that it is extremely important to know your physiological response when you are passionate about something, though, so you can utilize it as part of your motivation.
I believe the BEST way to find your real passions are to find whatever it is you get 'lost' in. If you can paint for hours on end, and it seems like it's only been 10 minutes, that's your passion. If you can pick up a book and read it front to back in a day, but it seemed like you did so in an hour's time, that's your passion.
For me personally, stepping into the gym, knowing I am going to push myself harder than I did the day before, challenging myself to push more weight, add one more repetition, or potentially teach someone else how to do something differently that will benefit them--that's MY passion. I could get lost in a workout if time allowed. Call it masochistic, but honestly, I love knowing my body is capable of so much if I just stop thinking I have barriers.
In summary, the best way I can think to say all of this is by saying, be your own best friend. Love yourself more than anyone else can love you. Don't give anyone else the power to make or break your happiness, progress, or motivate you. Stop asking permission to be who you want to be!! There is absolutely NO ONE who has the right to take away your worth. If you quit allowing other people to dictate your actions and feelings, I promise you, YOU WILL SUCCEED.
As always, I wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you love to do. Go out there and show the world exactly what you're capable of doing!
-Bonnie
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